Bill Corbett

Corbett's tumbly-thing

We say many words.

  • We sure do say a lot of words.
  • Wordsayers, that's us.
  • ******
  • STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI RiffTrax
  • [The opening scrawl of text goes up for the last time]
  • Mike Nelson: Yes, Episode Six, a.k.a. the one you thought was the worst Star Wars episode until you got proved severely wrong 16 years later, and again 19 years later...and again 22 years later...and again 25 years later.
  • [As Darth Vader's ship lands inside of the Death Star]
  • Mike Nelson: Security is tight after a terrorist tried to smuggle some sand on board. Turned out to just a dude returning from the beach.
  • Bill Corbett: And now he's dead.
  • [In a segue from one scene to another, a creature outside Jabba's palace eats a smaller creature, then belches]
  • Bill Corbett: [sarcastically] Thank you, George, that really moved the story along nicely.
  • [Leia is shown in her famous slave costume for the first time]
  • Bill Corbett: And there we have it: the costume that makes attending Comic-Con bearable.
  • Kevin Murphy: And in a few outlying cases much, much worse.
  • Bill Corbett: Oh, you saw that guy too?
  • [The First Guard falls into the Sarlacc pit]
  • Mike Nelson [as Guard]: Tell Jar Jar I hate him!
  • [As a biker scout falls off his speeder bike and hits a tree hard]
  • Kevin Murphy: (As the biker scout) Meant to do that!
  • [Leia and Wicket are in the forest when Wicket smells something]
  • Mike Nelson: And they encounter Porkins the White.
  • [As Luke, Han and the others are tied up and readied for sacrifice by the Ewoks]
  • Luke: Threepio...
  • Mike Nelson [as C-3PO]: Yes, Jedi-Knight-hogtied-by-teddy-bears?
  • [Emperor Palpatine stands up and walks towards Darth Vader and Luke]
  • Kevin Murphy: Brain Guy?!
  • Bill Corbett: Who?
  • [Stormtroopers corner C-3PO and R2-D2.]
  • Stormtrooper: Freeze!
  • Bill Corbett [as C-3PO]: [singing] It's raining stormtroopers! Hallelujah!
  • [An ewok is sent flying by a nearby explosion]
  • Mike Nelson: The Hurt Locker, as performed by the Build-A-Bear Workshop
  • Admiral Ackbar: It's a trap!
  • Bill Corbet: This is no time to quote tired internet memes, sir!
  • Lando Calrisian: That blast came from the Death Star! That things operational!
  • Kevin Murphy [as Sulltian Pilot]: Wabas dabat? Obo Shabat!
  • [After Luke cuts off Vader's right hand in their climactic battle]
  • Bill Corbett [as Luke]: By the way, I got you a cell phone for Father's Day -- it's hands-free. BURN!
  • [As the Emperor falls to his death down a seemingly bottomless chasm]
  • Kevin Murphy [As the Emperor]: I regret having this bottomless chasm instaaaaaaaalled!
  • [The Emperor explodes into a bluish gas after being tossed down a shaft]
  • Bill Corbett: Huh, who knew? The Emperor was mostly made of Smurf gas.
  • Mike Nelson: Update your references, Bill; those are now called Avatar farts!
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