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You may have noticed an increasing number of people being caught plagiarizing works from people with talent. Inevitably what happens once someone is caught adapting a comic strip to a film, jokes from Twitter, or doing Patrice O’Neil’s bits on YouTube is they issue an entirely unconvincing and half assed non-apology.
No one buys your apology. No one.
With this handy form letter below you can get those pesky talented people off your back. I made this for you, the plagiarists out there, so feel free to claim this as your own (I didn’t have to tell you that, did I LOL)
Boy is my face red! You probably know me as (actor/pastor/guy who works at Subway) but I what I really want to do is (Have indie cred/be funny/be internet famous).I require accolades from strangers to feel good about myself, whether they be deserved or not. Crazy, right?!?
You would think my level of notoriety for what I do would be enough, but it isn’t. See, I’m a special kind narcissistic. I see other people that are funny/successful and I NEED to have that is well.
The problem is I lack talent in that area. Seriously. I can’t do it at all. Not even a little.
So what I did was copy someone with actual talents work. I was not “Inspired”…It was not a “Homage”. It was theft of someone’s ideas. Someone with talent.
This is the part where I could tell you about (insert personal tragedy/issue here) but I won’t insult your intelligence by dragging my personal problems into this. Believe me, I have A LOT of problems, none of which have anything to do with my conscious decision to try and pass off someone else’s work as my own.
I would just like to take this opportunity to say with 100% sincerity:
I am sorry I got caught. ”